Emperor Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, Kennedyarch, was born 2,000 years ago from the belly of a Panda in the nation of “Culifonia”. He then went on to conquer multiple lands and his name became the fear of all mortal men before he was defeated by Ahnuld Schwarzenegger and forced to sleep for a thousand years before awaking in the modern day…or so his disillusioned ego would say.

Norton has an interest in alternate history, but has yet to write a TL because he fears his inability to do so effectively. He is a particular fan of Kennedy TL's, “New Frontier” TL's, the American Civil War giving birth to a World War TL's, Steampunk, the Victorian age, Asian colonization of the West Coast along with the Europeans on the East, and a lot of other random junk. He particularly hates the cliches of Magic Reagan, JFK dying or retiring early because of illness (as his diseases were treatable and all his other ailments besides Addison's were likely just Celiac which was detectable and treatable with a removal of glutton from the diet), war hawk JFK (either leading to World War 3 or going into Vietnam when Kennedy had been cooling tensions and was going to motion toward propping up the South with arms and supplies), and to a far lesser degree, Tecumseh's Curse (at which he only shows occasional irk-ment). Norton has been trying to find a cure for the fatal disease of Noobitis, but is decades away.

Norton has an addiction to round brackets. This is largely because he tries to cram every thought possible into a topic or reply.

Norton is responsible with the list craze among member profiles in the wiki as he is the originator of this awesomeness. However, his list is far more extensive than anyone else's (as he has not life).

Though he has flirted with Conservatism in the past, Norton generally considers himself a Social Liberal. However, he considers himself more a old school, New Deal coalition Liberal than Hippie Liberal. Norton is also frequently annoyed by the more reactionary and hard-right line the Republican party has begun heading in. He is also not a fan of Fox News. He similarly dislikes MSNBC, but sees it as not as bad (in his opinion, whereas Fox heavily makes things up or cites incorrect or skewed information to support a point of view, MSNBC largely presents factual things but from a biased point of view), and a necessary counter measure.

Norton also holds a secret love of Ronald Reagan. Similarly, he likes a number of past Republicans of moderate to Progressive to moderate-Conservative stripe including Bob Dole, Gerald Ford, George Romney, Nelson Rockefeller, Dwight Eisenhower, Thomas Dewey, and Theodore Roosevelt.

• Camelot Revisited: What If JFK Had Lived?

• Blossoms In The Divine Wind: An Alternate End to the Pacific War
• A Greater Society: LBJ Avoids His Grand Folly
• Unnamed Joint Nixon-in-1960 TL
• I Like Mondays/A Sensible Radicalism: What If Garfield Lived?
• Dick's Trick: What If Nixon Didn't Get Caught?
• The Final Curtain/Mourning In America: What If Reagan Was Worse For Wear?
• The Spirit of Camp David: What If The U2 Didn't Go Down?
• Ford: What if 1976 was a good year for the GOP? 1980…not so much.
• “X-Number” Degrees of Separation: Kennedy is not assassinated in 1963, but is killed at a later date (the number of years from 1963 being that x-number). Thus creating a world similar but different from the one of the OTL.
• Shadows Over Camelot: An evil mirror of Camelot Revisited. President Kennedy survives the assassination, but the worst case scenarios are followed. Something that will piss both me and Roguebeaver off, but will act as a thought experiment.

(Under Construction)

• President Reagan In 1968
• Tail-Gunner in the Pilot's Seat
• Flight of Fate
• Cradling Camelot

1. Wherever the Beatles Are F–ked up in a Timeline, Everything Thereafter is Similarly F–ked up.

2. Around One Fourth of All Americans Are Classifiably Retarded. Take That Into Account on All Polls.

3. In All ATL and DBWI Discussions Involving a Black Person Becoming President, At Least One Person Will Attempt to Make Them a Token Republican (and Usually a Conservative One At That), Even Against All Historical and Biographical Background.

4. There's Always a 50/50 Chance That, If a Great Deal of Creative Freedom Is Granted In a DBWI, A Noob Will Find a Way to F–k It Up.

5. FBWI's Will Always Have a Strong Possibility of Being Abused For Ideological Self Gratification.

6. Future History in General Will Always Be Abused For Ideological Self Gratification.

7. 9/10's of All ATL's Involving the Confederate States of America Will Not Have It Collapse Into Independent and Sovereign States At Any Point, Even Though the Confederacy's Stability Was Questionable and It's Unity Only In Name For The Most Part.

8. There Always Exists a 60/40 to a 70/30 Chance That An ATL Will Establish the C.S.A. As a World Power and a 50/50 Chance of it Being Established As a Superpower.

9. Futurism Will Always Overestimate Technological Developments and Underestimate Development Involving Computers, and Keep Social Concepts and Fashion of the Future Too Static to The Times in Which the Predictions were Made.

10. There Are No Alternate Histories, Just Approximations.

11. If Anything Reads “President Palin”, Don't Click It.

12. Ego Is Inversely Related To How Much A Person Is Unwilling To Admit They Are Wrong, And How Much Time They Will Invest Arguing Semantics And What They “Really” Meant In Order Not To Be Wrong.

13. The Only Reason To Hate Someone For Their Ideology Is If That Ideology Lends To Them Being A D-ck.

14. Midgets Multiply The Funniness Of Anything By 5.

15. After 110 Years, No One Cares About The Politics Of An Incident, But You May Find One Who Does And Proves To Be A Pain In Your A–.

16. Nazis Are The Coolest Villains Ever.

17. People Too Often Fail To Take Into Account That Health And Vitality Are Related To Lifestyle, Behavior, And Stress, And That Therefore A Person May Live Longer Or Shorter In An ATL Than They Did In The OTL.*

*IE, If Johnson is sparred Vietnam and the stress of the war and it's backlash, he could live years longer. Similarly, an Eisenhower facing WWIII in 1956 could suffer a heart attack not long after due to the massive stress.

18. The “Static Man” Model Of History Is and Will Always Be A Poor One.*

*”Static Man” referring to the thought that historical individuals or a historical individual does/did not change in views (political or otherwise) and personality over the course of their life. For example, Lincoln went from believing in keeping slavery where it was in his early career to believing slavery should be abolished everywhere and in total, over the course of the American Civil War.

19. In Alternate History, Always Seek To Investigate And Focus On “What If” And Avoid Falling Prey To The Fanciful And Self-Opinionated “If Only”.

20. There Exists A Special Place In Hell For Lawyers, Political Pundits, And Bosses.

21. Dogma's A B-tch. Feel Free To Push It Down A Few Flights Of Stairs If You Think It's Right.

22. Tecumseh's Curse Should Not Necessarily Be Taken As True, But It's A Good Way To Thin The Heard And Add Depth In An Alternate Timeline.

23. Neo-Nazis Are Douchebags.

24. Know The Difference Between The Private (And Real) Man, And The Public Identity, But Understand Both.

25. Ronald Reagan Is The Only Man Whom You Can Read One Quote And Find Him Likable And An Amiable Figure, And Another And Find Him A Reactionary Hardliner And A Jerk.

26. Nothing Is Ever Predestined To Fail.

27. Rednecks Ruin Everything.*

*Not The Fun “You Might Be A Redneck If…” Rednecks. The “The Democrats Wanna Kill My Grandma!” Rednecks.

28. Vietnam Was Inevitably An Unwinnable War.

29. Bipartisanship Is A Two Way Street. Where It Is Treated As A One Way Street By The Opposition, It Is Obstructionism Trying To Make Itself Appear Better Than It Actually Is.

30. Civility Is Necessary In All Areas.

31. If Ignorance Is Bliss, You Will Meet A Lot Of Happy People In Your Life.

32. Politics Must Always Be Tinted With Common Humanity If It Is To Serve The People As They Deserve.

33. An Explanation Is Not An Excuse.

34. Human Nature Is The Greatest Asset And The Greatest Impediment To Human Progress.

35. In Any Poll Involving A Kennedy, The Kennedy Will Win.

36. You Don't Need To Be Smart To Talk.

37. Kanye West Is A Douche.

38. Anything Of Sufficient Popularity Will Get Ripped Off By Others.

39. No One Has The Right To Make You Feel Bad About Yourself.

40. When Serious Institutions Allow Ann Coulter To Speak, Bad Things Happen.

41. An Army Loses If It Does Not Win; A Guerrilla Wins If He Does Not Lose.

42. Even Hitler Smiled.

43. History Is A Myriad Of Failures And Squandered Opportunities, And The Effects They Had On Humanity.

44. If It's Meant To Be Funny, And It Isn't/Won't Be Funny And That Is Known, Don't Do It.

45. An Insanity, Even If Shared By A Mass, Is An Insanity Nonetheless And Deserves Little More Respect.

46. No One Believes 2012 Is Doomsday Except A Bunch Of Dumb-ass Yuppies And WASPs Taken In By The Same New Age Drivel We Saw In 2000 And 2001 (The Last Time The Mayan Calender Ended Was 1628. Remember When The World Ended In 1628?)

47. Humanity Should Come Before Any Ideology, And Indeed Be One's Ideology.

48. Miracle Whip Is Not A Hip And Trendy Lifestyle Choice, Dammit. It's A Food Product Which Lends To People Who Weigh 200+ Pounds And Watch Sitcoms All Day On Their Couch.

49. A Politician Is A Person Who Will Know Something Is Bull, But Try To Sell It Anyway.

50. It Doesn't Matter If You're Wrong As Long As You Say It Enough Times.

51. Extravagance Should Not Overtake The Ability To Pay For That Extravagance.

52. Sins Are The Blind Spots Of Attempts At Virtue.

53. If I Don't Post In A Week, I'm Sick. If I Don't Post In A Month, I'm Dead.

54. “Twilight” Shows The Disappointing Nature Of Humanity.

55. A Part Of The Joy Of Childhood Is Being Surrounded By Known Things And Persistently Held Things For Long Periods Of Time, And Being Able To Enjoy Those Things And Enjoy Them Persistently With Equal Vigor. A Malady Of Adulthood Is The Lack Of Those Known Things, And The Joy Being Their Rediscovery.

56. If It Requires Wearing Pants, It Generally Isn't Worth It.

57. E-mails Are A Way For One Dumbass To Infect Other Dumbasses With His Stupidity

58. Jesse Ventura Is Like A Favorite Crazy Uncle. He Says A Lot Of Nutso, Pseudo-Intellectual Stuff, But You Could Probably Have A Beer With Him, And He'd Probably Help You In A Bar Fight And Then Take You To See A Hooker.

59. Conspiracy Is Like A Box Of Mirrors. You Bounce Off Within It Until You Are Locked Into A Self-Perpetuating Reality Which Cannot Be Broken Because When Any Critique Comes, You Look To A Reflection And Therefore Find The Rebuttal There.

60. No Matter How Many Smiles, How Many Handshakes, How Many Repetitions Of Calling You Or Your Fellow Customers “Family”, No Business Man Gives A Damn About You Beyond Your Wallet, And Will Do All He Can To Separate It From You.

61. It Is When You Try To Sufficiently Understand The Aesthetic Of Reality That You Reach Insanity.

62. It's Easy To Burn A Strawman.

63. One A–hole With Photoshop Can F–k Up A Lot.

64. Life Could Perhaps Be Boiled Down To The Following Idea: Everyone Hates Everyone Else And Everything Else, Just To Different Degrees.