He appeared to the board in order to reveal to us the true nature of the world. Sadly, the world was not ready for his genius, and we sinners heaped scorn on his visionary ideas. In the words of Fellatio Nelson: “you are an intellectual powerhouse, Cyril, whose ideas concerning inherent rights and logic are so far in advance of our own understanding that they appear - to us - to be vague and riddled with inconsistencies.

It’s the price all visionaries have to pay.”

Shimbo enunciated the tenets of Cyrrilianistic opposition to the existing state of society as sprouting from St Cyril’s inherent superiority, thus:

1. Because we don’t recognise his genius.
2. Which is evidenced by the fact that we can’t follow his arguements.
3. Which he has clearly explained with reference to his own absolute and unchanging moral code.
4. Which is a work of genius.
5. Which brings me back to my first point.

According to prophecy, he will return when a privately owned tree on public land falls, bringing down the cradle of inherently immoral government and returning us to the state of the ancient Irish. Or something.

The chief principle of Cyrillic Logic is represented by the phrase Quia Ego Sic Dico, lit. ‘Because I Said So’.

The few scattered fragments of Baldian literature refer often to a figure known as St. Cyril the Inherent, a paragon of moral clarity and wisdom. St. Cyril’s moral instructions took the form of koan-like statements, in which he made apparently self-contradictory claims to inspire listeners to look deep within themselves for answers. The disciples of St. Cyril were known for meditating before debates to clear their minds of all facts and sources for their claims. The word “duh” was regarded as having a special significance by these mystics, as evidenced by the following mantra used in meditation: Duuuhhhhh aynrand aynrand aynrand.