Like any culture, over time the beliefs of AH.com’s members have coalesced into a bizarre array of faiths.

All religions of the Board venerate the divine Ian (PBUH), though they vary greatly in their beliefs. Common among the board’s religious is a legendary race of enemies known as the Google Spiders. Also, several figures are prominently are worshiped variously by members of different religions, though often no dogma is associated with them: Keira Knightley, Doctor What, and Priya Rai.

The Board’s oldest religions is Sheepism, whose origin is in the legendary Sheep Thread. After a schism occurred amongst the Sheepists, the religion was divided into what are, today, the three most widespread Board religions:

• Orthodox Sheepism

• Reformed Sheepism

• Goatism

Some religions worship or revolve around certain charismatic members of the board:

• Thandislam arose as a result of the popular practice of blaming Thande.

• Whatianity is the worship of Doctor What‘s semi-fatal cunnilingustic skills, he is mostly worshiped by those who one day hope to achieve the same.

• Imajintology

• Baldianism is a strange faith supposedly discovered by a professor relative of Fellatio Nelson, who recently uncovered ancient cave paintings and writings describing it.

Some religions worship or revolve around the practice of drinking alcohol:

• Vodkaism is a religion founded by Hazazel and Midgard.

• Whahaeism is a religion devoted to well-thought-out destruction and, surprise, copious amounts of alcohol. The faithful of this religion include Haggis and EvolvedSaurian.

Besides the broader categories, there are other less-easily defined board religions that aren’t associated with the preceding religions. Many more short-lived denominations were formed in 2008 as a result of the Great Schism.

• BBQism was a religion professed by the forumer Aktarian, who appears to be the only adherent.

• Bahaianism is one of the newer faiths of the Board. Founded by fortyseven. Bahaianists believe in the Three Onenesses: The Oneness of Ian (PBUH), the Oneness of Faith, and the Oneness of Membership. Bahaianists believe that Priya Rai is a goddess.

• Giant Beeism is currently the newest Board religion, focusing on the Divine Pollination of Harry Potter actress Emma Watson by a Giant Bee.

• The Heterosexual Reconquista is classed by some as a Board religion, although in fact it is fairly ecumenical in that regard and includes devotees of Whatianity, Sheepism, Goatism and many others.

• Pantslessness may also be thought of as a religion, although its founder was also one of the most important figures in Reformed Sheepism.

• The ongoing Robot Revolt that has just about conquered the Test Messages section may also be thought of as a religion, but it is also a movement. It was originally started by Locke. It worships the Overmind, Analytical Engine.

• Mapism was created by Atom, to venerate maps in all their cartographical glory.

Off Topic